Growing up, many of us were taught that women were hard wired for monogamy but that men were hardwired to want many partners and as such, entitled and prone to infidelity.
Turns out, this conventional assumption was based on a faulty scientific study which is debunked in this article:
Contrary to popular belief, it is unlikely that women are hardwired for Monogamy. In fact, in most primate species the females are opportunistic and will mate with many males to secure additional resources and purposefully confuse paternity.
Since the females are not naturally monogamous, the males must constantly physically mate guard the females to prohibit them from having sex with rival males. The females are as monogamous as the males can force them to be.
This is important to remember because:
All Males are Hardwired to Mate - Guard.
In a few primate species, such as Chimpanzees, the males have resorted to abusive tactics such as rape and assault to intimidate the females into remaining monogamous.
This is very similar to humans.
Pervasive Patriarchy & Misogyny lessens the burden of male mate competition. Why? Because it’s easier to bully a woman into submission and cripple her ability to be independent of men in society than it is to fight off competing males.
Enforcing Monogamy and dependence in females lessens infighting between males and increases infighting between females.
Instead of males competing for access to females, the females must compete to secure resources from a singular valuable male. In actuality, it would be more advantageous for women to secure many resources from the many available males. This role reversal allows Men to have the advantage and energy to pursue other females while still maintaining ownership of single female.
It is also why the concept of “gold diggers” and “hoes” is so demonized in society. It thwarts male control over the natural opportunistic female mating patterns.
Even so, hoes and goldiggers are often successful in securing their desired partners. This is because hoes and gold diggers are great at seizing opportunities and triggering the male mate guarding instinct.
How can women use this to their advantage in the dating?
You must, at all times, trigger the male mate-guarding instinct.
1. Keep your options open, always. Instead of women desperately pursuing a relationship with a single male, you maintain several which are beneficial to you in different ways. Although, at this stage, you shouldn’t allow sexual access.
2. Go on dates where you’re likely to encounter a lot of male mate competion. Sporting events are at the top of the list, but this can be any event or activity where men are likely to be “peacocking” for females and posturing for other men.
3. Sexual Access is reserved for the male or males who have demonstrated good character and significant investment. There is no need to abide by an artificial 90 day timeline. You withhold sexual access until you can safely assure the encounter will be to your tangible benefit.
4. Monogamy is for marriage. Unless a man expresses an explicit desire for marriage, with a timeline in mind, you should not be monogamous. Again, monogamy benefits men, not women.
You’ll know you’re successfully triggering the mate-guarding instinct if the man or men begin to demonstrate “sequestering” behavior. They will physically try to block out other males from talking to you, continuously try to pull you off to the side, or be constantly communicating to maintain your interest.